If Heaven Had A Phone Number And Visiting Hours

If Heaven had a phone number, I’d call it every single day. Once in the morning, once on my way home from work, and once before bed. And probably a few times in between, let’s be honest. I’d call you to tell you every single detail so that you wouldn’t have to miss these moments. The big moments. The little moments. Every single moment.

If Heaven had a phone number, I’d remind you during each conversation that we miss you immensely and that we never stop thinking about you. I’d go on and on about how much we mention you in our conversations so that we wouldn’t forget about you. So that we keep you part of our lives even though you aren’t here. Because the more you’re brought up, the more I feel like you aren’t missing out on things.

If I could talk to you now, I’d tell you how lost I get without your validation. I’d explain to you without taking a breather about how confused I get when I’m making a decision. But if Heaven had a phone number, I’d just call you. I would ask you which path to take and whether or not I should continue on in the path that I'm already in. I’d call you to tell you my thoughts and ask if you’d be proud of the decisions I’m making. You’d most likely list all the pros and cons that I didn’t even think of and then make me feel good about what I’m choosing.

If Heaven had a phone number, I’d FaceTime you when I need to see your smile. If my day was gloomy, I’d FaceTime your Heaven number so that you could brighten up my day whenever I need it. I’d FaceTime you just to hear your contagious laugh so that I can hear it over and over again. Hearing your voice is comforting so whenever I’m having a tough day, I’d hit that redial button and ask you to sing one of your songs to me. Just so I can forget what’s going on for a few minutes and feel home again.

If Heaven had a phone number, God might shake His head from the constant ringing because of how often I’d call. I’d grab a bowl of popcorn and gossip about all the stupid boys and how they’d fail your test. And I know you’d say they aren’t worth the heart aches. I’d tell you about the program I got into, the new place Antoine got, the ring that Charbel put on Aimee’s finger and how mom is running things like a boss. And you’d follow that up by: Allah khalile yekoun.

If Heaven had a phone number, I’d ask to talk to God. I would beg Him for visiting hours so that I could sit with you for a while. I would explain to God that I would like to schedule a weekly meeting place so that I could ease the pain ever so slightly. Imagine if Heaven had a visiting hour, I would make sure to plan our weddings, graduations, and future children’s christenings and birthday around that hour. That way you’d truly never miss a moment like those.

I guess Heaven, somewhat, has a phone number. It’s in prayer form. It’s definitely not the same. But it’s better than nothing. When I pray for you, you visit my dreams almost immediately. So in a way, my prayers are like texts to you that I need you and my dreams are our new meeting place. And like you’ve always done, you come running. It’s not the same. But I get to see your face and how happy you are. And although we’re left heartbroken, it's slightly comforting to know you have join the angels.

You see, dad, there’s so much love we had yet to give and share with you and we’re left with nowhere to give it. No one to receive it. If Heaven had a phone number, we’d express that and you’d listen. And if there were visiting hours, I’d give you all the hugs that I have for you. You were the best listener. You listened even when we were silent. You heard us even when we didn’t know what we wanted to say. And your hugs could take away any pain we had. It was exactly what we needed even when we didn’t know what we needed.

If Heaven had a phone number, I’d call you every single day just to tell you how much I love you. And if Heaven had a visiting hour, I’d meet you there every chance I got.