Message Not Delivered.

I think about this more than I would like to admit. What if I reached out and finally said what I never got to say?

I’d tell you this:

I was robbed of so much — and what hurt the most was that you couldn’t care less. We spent a year and a half together. We lived together. We tried on engagement rings. We spoke about forever.

I will never know which version of you was real. I will never know how many lies there were. How many conversations happened behind my back. You hid yourself. And when I questioned it, you convinced me I was insecure — that I needed to work on myself. You didn’t bruise my skin. You bruised my mind. You left fingerprints on my thoughts.

While you spoke about me behind my back — twisting and manipulating our story — I prayed for you. I prayed for your family. I even prayed for her. I prayed she would leave you alone. I prayed you would become the man I believed you could be — the man I met on that cold January night. The man I thought I saw when it was just us. But maybe that man only existed in moments.

I truly wish I could hate you. But I don’t.

On the contrary, I still pray for you. I pray that one day you become the man God intended you to be. That’s the difference between us: You tore me down to my bones and I chose prayer.

So, thank you for breaking my heart. You catapulted me into a storm that sent me straight into God’s arms. While you ran toward the parties, I sat alone with Him. There, His truth dismantled the lies that had been planted in my mind from the wounds you left within me. The chaos you created forced me into stillness. And in that stillness, I remembered who I was.

I remembered that the same God who paints the sky in brushstrokes of purple, orange, and pink, created me with that same intentional design.

At the end of it all, I genuinely hope you find your person. I hope you are loyal. I hope you honor her in the ways you could not honor me. I hope you become everything I once begged you to be.

And most importantly, I hope and pray that I never again settle for someone who has to be convinced to love me biblically and correctly.